Did you ever want something desperately you couldn’t have?  Was it painful?  Did you rationalize that you had every right to be happy like everyone else—that you deserved it, and therefore you ought to have it?

     I remember as a child begging and pleading with my parents over a particular doll I desperately wanted, even though I knew on some level it was not something they could afford—or as a teen, trying to convince my parents that that I wanted to do something that “all the kids were doing.”  My parents stood firm because it wasn’t “good for me.”  How I hated to hear that!

     As the news came out from the openly gay, Federal Court Judge, Vaughn Walker’s ruling that Prop 8 was unconstitutional, I was reminded of the intense struggle we all experience between personal desires and what is good and right for us.  Our desires are insistent and strong—and demand resolution.  

     But maturity teaches us that in order to exercise good judgment, we must ask two questions to determine what we should do:  1) Is it necessary? and 2)  Will be good for us?

     If we can respond to both of those questions with a “yes,” we can feel safe in moving forward.  If even one answer is “no,” we are foolish to proceed.

     I am not so old that I don’t remember how important fairness seemed to be when I was young.  My heart also empathizes with those who find same-sex attractions to be a life-long struggle.  At the same time, the following questions need to be honestly addressed.

     Is same-sex marriage necessary?  Are basic rights covered under civil unions?  Will same-sex marriages be good for our nation?  What is the best for our children?  Do we want our kids and grandkids to be taught that either sex is acceptable for marriage?  Will churches and pastors be arrested for preaching about homosexuality?  What will the long-term effects be?

     Plato, a classical Greek philosopher, wrote “the most extreme freedom necessarily turns into the most extreme slavery.”  Complete liberation of our sexual desires is not freedom, but slavery to our own appetites.  

     I love these words of the Apostle Paul “You, my brothers, were called to be free.  But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.”  (Galatians 5:13)  We are called out of the bondage of sin by the grace of God and the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus.  Surrendering to His Lordship paves the way to overcoming our temptation to sin through the power of His Holy Spirit.  

     Because God created us, He knew sexual behavior outside His holy boundaries could create chaos and disaster.  He also knew that exercising restraint sexually allowed us to pour our energies into improving our own lives and the lives of those around us.