QUESTION: I have heard ex-gay leaders say that "homosexuality" is not about sex. What do they mean?
ANSWER: It is true that homosexuality is defined as "attraction to the same sex" and so appears to be about sex. However homosexuality is not sexual in its origin. To help you understand, let's change the subject to anorexia or bulimia. Anorexia and bulimia are mental strongholds that have little to do with food. A person who suffers from anorexia does so--not because of the lack of food, but because she (usually women suffer from this condition) is deceived by her thought processes. She looks into the mirror and convinces herself that she is fat. Emotionally, she cannot see the deception and so refuses to eat.
Likewise, homosexuality is a stronghold that has little to do with sex. God created us male and female. However, homosexual thought, feelings, and behaviors can be traced to past negative or traumatic experiences or thoughts that precipitate sexual disorientation, causing disorientation, causing individuals to believe a lie or deception about his or her sexual identity.
QUESTION: My son says that there is nothing wrong with homosexuality because Jesus never said anything about it. Is that true? How should I respond to his comments?
ANSWER: When someone is struggling with feelings they have not chosen and wanting to act on these feelings, he/she will look for reasons to justify acting out those feelings. One of the arguments of pro-gay theology is that Jesus did not speak against homosexuality. It is true that Jesus did not say anything about homosexuality. However, the fact that He did not say anything about it does not negate the specific prohibitions against it elsewhere in the Old and New Testaments. (See Leviticus 18:22, Romans 1:18-32, I Corinthians 6:9-11.) Homosexuality is not addressed positively anywhere in the Bible.
We do know know everything that Jesus said. Perhaps He did address it, and it was not recorded. In John 21:25, it says, "And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written." Saying that Jesus condoned homosexuality because He never spoke about it is a logical fallacy. It is called "an argument from silence." While we have no words from Jesus regarding homosexuality, it does not mean that He did not care about the issue. Jesus also did not talk about incest or wife-beating, and we do not condone these behaviors.
You might respond to your son with something like this: "I understand you are hurting, son, and you would like to believe that homosexuality is okay. Let me tell you about what I have learned. (State above arguments). Even though Jesus did not say anything about homosexuality, He knows what you are going through and He loves you and wants to bring healing to your life. He can give you the courage and strength to overcome your homosexual feelings, but you need others to support you, as well. Help is available when you are ready, and I will love you and support you through the process."
